livingtea

things i want

Thu, 15 Oct 2009 02:40:26 GMT

1. to ACE this immuno exam.
2. this semester to be done with. weekly midterms for possibly 8 weeks in a row? NOT TOO COOL universe, not too cool.
3. choi minho/ludwig (lupo) paischer fic. i am a freak i know. but have you SEEN THIS?

(OH GOD WHAT AM I DOING????)

4. crossover fic for pru's asunder/DRP universes--castiel + merlin are in pediatrics! they wear ugly scrubs/are color blind. arthur + dean snarking about their respective partner's bad fashion should ensue.
5. kim yuna to win grand prix.
6. for me to not be sick.

thanks universe!

i want but i don't.

Sun, 04 Oct 2009 07:22:23 GMT

why yes i do believe i hate myself.

why the fuck can't i stop being such a lazy asshole?

I WANT TO SPAR. I WANT TO MAKE BEAUTIFUL DRAWINGS. I WANT TO WRITE ABOUT FIRST DATES AND IDENTITY AND AWKWARD KISSES AND STORIES. I WANT TO KEEP MY FUCKING 4.0. I WANT TO LOOK INTO A MIRROR AND NOT HATE MYSELF. I WANT TO DO AMAZING RESEARCH.

instead.

i gorge myself on instant noodles. i skip practice. i waste time watching tv. i slack off.

why why why why why

i can't stand it.

why the fuck is it so fucking hard to change.

i hate who i am.

Fri, 19 Jun 2009 02:22:20 GMT

why is it so hard to change?

a concrete(ish) study plan

Tue, 16 Jun 2009 01:09:07 GMT

shit i should have done before summer vacation, during the school year:
1. complete physiology notes: reproductive physiology
2. complete neurobiology notes: lectures 17-20 (basically copy the typed lecture notes into the notebook, with additional info from slides/review packets, maybe do this during breaks at work?)
3. start a math notebook: mv calc notes + practice problems (???????), use the rest for statistics when school starts
4. finish all the chem practice problems (example problems, chapter problems, problem set): chapter 8-15
* (maybe) finish neuroscience notes, ESPECIALLY chapter 7-neuroanatomy oTZ.

shit to do during the summer:
5. start learning orgo from my brother's textbook (MUST GET A HEAD START, WILL KEEP 4.0 EVEN IF IT KILLS ME)

-read + highlight
-chapter notes
-practice problems

6. review all of physiology (this shit is important! it WILL be on the mcats)
7. review neuroscience (neuroscience majors should know at least the structure of the brain!!!!!!!)
8. review neurobiology (not too high on the list since most of the information i retained, just a quick skim over)
* (maybe) do practice problems for mv calc??? (just for the sake of completeness? meh not very important, VERY LOW PRIORITY)

to do list for the week of 5/25-5/31

Mon, 25 May 2009 05:16:27 GMT

~~1. email dr. faden about getting my georgetown ID and when i should start, etc... (PRIORITY: 5/25)~~
~~2. clean room. (PRIORITY: 5/25-5/26)~~
~~3. order organic soap + toothpaste.~~
4. start running on treadmill.
5. return library books, borrow new books.
~~6. get replacement charger for my laptop.~~
7. finish physio notes.
~~8. make plans for hanging out with friends (IMPORTANT)~~

thoughts meander like a restless wind

Wed, 20 May 2009 02:57:48 GMT

1) obligatory freshman year recap.
things that sucked about college

it was a shitload of work. no hw buffer + lecture based exams = hell x infinity during exam weeks.
it was very lonely. most of it was my fault, with me being socially inept and very lazy about meeting people, but still. i missed my high school friends a lot.
my roommate. what a dumb bitch. she sleep-xiled me, sexiled me, caused an ant colony to grow on my side of the room, and NEVER FUCKING CLEANED UP AFTER HERSELF. she left so much shit in the room after she left, which i had to clean up, after an all nighter and a harrowing three hour neurobio exam.stupid spoiled entitled bitch.

things that did not suck about college

4.0 GPA HAH. this made things so much better.
no church. you have no idea how much i loved this. now that i'm back, sundays are forever ruined.
well david, kelly, christina, and matt turned out to be very friendly and nice despite my pathetic social skills.
tkd was pretty cool, despite never really feeling at home with the upper belts. also whatever now i can break boards with my feet, which is pretty kick ass.
my gender and sexuality studies first year seminar was amazing.

2) a slice of noori chai's very dull life.
relaxing. waking up past noon and taking naps whenever. rereading childhood fantasy novels and stephen king novels and shounen manga series. cursing my shitty internet. eating bad chinese food. appeasing my mother's anger at my indolence by whipping out the aforementioned gpa.

3) plans for summer.
health related

exercise-running every day. must get in shape for tkd.
lose weight.
eat healthier.

fandom related

draw more--i want to draw good fanart, but in order to do so, i must improve. head shots are not enough!
try writing some fanfics--jenny's shin/sena fic, 2008 olympic choi minho/ludwig (lupo) paischer fic, etc...
make a nice layout for my livejournal.

school & career related

work hard and learn a lot at my internship. impress dr. faden. (hm i should email him about starting date/hours.)
research scholarship opportunities. i'll make it so that mom and dad can afford to close down the shop for a week and visit relatives.
tutor sam and gideon--SATs and college application help. hopefully i'll earn some money to pay for books and stuff i want (ipod nano and a cheap netbook)
finish recopying physio notes (reproductive physiology) and neurobio notes (neural circuits and plasticity unit) and mv calc into notebooks.
start learning organic chemistry and genetics w/ bro's textbooks.

good bye 2008, hello 2009.

Thu, 01 Jan 2009 06:34:24 GMT

january
i frantically churn out my second college essay and supplements the day they are due. after that everything seems to pass by in a blur. exams are terrible (D on the multivariable final, epic fail) but what we do after exams is quite fun.

february
more school passes by in an unpleasant blur. not nearly enough snow days. i think banneker/key interviews happens around this time, but i am not sure as again, it all blurs together into days of utter crap and misery. i probably skipped intermittently.

march
college acceptances and rejections fly in. i get into brown, what a miracle. cue extreme senioritis, except for the looming probability of losing credit in certain classes for skipping too much.

april
james joyce takes over, in a bad way. i visit brown, and it is quite lovely. i decide to go, since it is the cheapest after maryland and its neuroscience department is fierce. this is a decision i will regret occasionally in the future.

may
ap exams arrive and they are quite unpleasant. i end up answering some questions quite ridiculously: "these two theories are similar in that they are both about land." ironman (pronounced eye-ron-man, dammit!) turns out to be a most excellent movie. prom dinner is awkward, as david jia and xin barge into our table.

june
i visit new york city with my friends... or shall i say, flushing, since it is the mecca of fobby merchandise that appeals to dorie and me greatly. we see a lot of perseus and his genitalia as the met is quite confusing. i graduate high school, in a very unimpressive and boring ceremony (after getting my... empty diploma holder, i sit and furiously play tetris on my cellphone, trying to beat my brother's score. i fail.)

july
back to the motherland i go! quite a lovely trip, besides the relatives' aghast reaction to my appearance ("oh my god you've gotten fat, etc...) and the heat. i manage to trek up hallasan, though it is not easy, due to the fact that i am extremely out of shape. i eat delicious food and bond with some of my relatives. i also try to teach myself chemistry, with little success.

august
i visit seoul and see the pixar exhibit, which is amazing. my week's stay is soured when my friend forces me (emotional manipulation and ultimatums included) to go to a retreat with strangers. i sulk the whole time and a rift in our friendship develops. what can i say, i hate church and i hate being forced to do something, especially when that something involves church. i manage to finish my summer homework--write a letter to my advisor linking the terrible summer reading assignment, the places in between by rory stewart and my goals and academic plans. i bid my beloved grandmother a tearful farewell and go home. i get ready for college. i leave for brown, and endure the crappiest birthday of my life.

september
i struggle with adjusting to college. i make a few acquaintances and i start taekwondo. this month goes by quickly and in a blur of difficult schoolwork.

october
first batch of midterms are most hellacious and i do poorly on all of them. i fall in love with eyeshield 21 all over again, and am overjoyed when they win the christmas bowl. my parents come to visit brown and it's a bit awkward and they end up sleeping during the visit, which is disheartening. i take my first belt test and become a white belt, yellow stripe.

november
second batch of midterms come up, and i do much better on them. my college career appears to be looking up, with the improved grades and decent papers. i sort of drift away from the acquaintances i made and end up quite lonely. thanksgiving break is quite nice though, as i meet up with the people i actually like, and have the time of my life pissing off teenagers by mocking twilight really loudly with my friends in theatres.

december
finals arrive. i get my ass kicked by neuroscience. i do not know about math, as my teacher still has not graded the exam. i own my gender and sexuality studies final and paper. this is partially because i fall (with typical terrible timing)in love with bbc's merlin. i officially have only one friend at brown, which is quite pathetic. i have my second belt test and break a board with my left leg, first try, which is quite awesome. i become a yellow belt. after getting my ass kicked by finals, i go home to a lengthy winter break, but not before dropping my laptop and breaking the screen, which ends up needing a $400 repair, epic fail. seeing my friends is lovely and fun, while getting hugged by mr. kaluta is not. i end the year disgruntled because i have to go to church on new year's eve.

resolutions 2009
1> get straight As.
2> lose 20 lbs (and thus go down at least two pant sizes)
3> eat healthily. (no ramen or fried foods unless it's exam time, and even then limit the amounts!)
4> exercise at least four times a week. (mtws taekwondo and running on the other days)
5> get a summer internship.
6> practice drawing at least once a week.
7> no new fandoms.
8> improve study habits (record lectures and listen to them while exercising, do homework promptly, etc...)
9> record things/keep a journal so that i can see my progress.

a letter from 2008!me to 2009!me, locked until 2010?